As the title of my Blog describes, I spent many of my younger years shadowing my grandfather on his farm. I was convinced that I would grow up to be a farmer and carry on the family legacy that both he and his brother had continued. I was very young but was constantly trying to be helpful to my grandfather around the farm. Unfortunately, farming typically requires height and strength so my ability to provide value was quite limited. But, on this day he had a job for me, I was so excited!

Living on a dairy farm, we had cows. On most days the cows simply grazed in the fields feeding on the endless supply of grass, but there were also situations where we needed to move them into the barn, and this was my big opportunity! My grandfather asked me to roundup the cows into the barn. Typically, cows would simply move as you would direct them, so it should’ve been a pretty easy job. But, on this day several cows were being stubborn and not moving. It could have been my smaller stature compared to other farmhands or they were just not interested in moving. My frustration got the best of me, I happened to have a pitchfork in my hand and began swinging it towards the rebellious cows in an effort to scare them into following my direction. As I continued to swing the pitchfork, all of a sudden, I heard my grandfather’s voice from across the field yelling for me to stop. One thing about my grandfather, he never ever raised his voice so to hear him yell stopped me in my tracks. As I finished moving the cows into the barn, I begin the trek across the field to the farmhouse bracing for my grandfather to be very upset at me. To my surprise he met me halfway and immediately put his arm around me to ensure I knew he was not angry. He then proceeded to explain how my actions were not appropriate because cows are very skittish and scaring them could make them even more inclined to run away or escape in the future. The lasting memory I have around this situation is he disciplined me in an empathetic but direct manner focusing on my action versus my character. This event still has an impact on me today in how I try to provide guidance, and in some cases, discipline. It’s a key part of my leadership toolkit both at work and at home.

Leadership takeaways:

1. Talking to a team member about something they did wrong, or you disagree with can be an uncomfortable situation. It’s important to focus on the specific action versus questioning the persons character or intentions.
2. Speaking to a team member out of empathy versus anger is critical to both deescalating the situation and creating an atmosphere of trust to enable a more productive conversation.
3. Always be clear on the “why” so team members understand the rationale behind your intervention. My grandfather was able to help me understand the potential consequences of my actions that could have a long-term impact on the cattle.